I seem to spend half my life not able to do things and the other half putting them off.  So no more!

So far in the last week I’ve completely reinstalled my blog and all the plug-ins and it’s running much faster with a nice clean database, so it was worth the effort.

I’m still slowly cataloguing my DVD collection.  The database is all set up, but I’ve still got all the covers to scan and the details to check, but I’m going slow and steady with that one.

I spent a couple of days setting up a spreadsheet for all the household accounts.  It took the best part of two days, I’m so rusty with spreadsheets, and they were never my strong suit to begin with, but at least I can keep track of everything easily now.  Although it seems I get a lovely present of the receipts every couple of days.  I set it up and I’m expected to do it all. *sigh*

I’ve finally started my eye exercises.  I got up the other day and decided I was sick of wearing glasses, I keep having allergy reactions to the contact lens cleaners, so I figured enough was enough.  I’ve started on an exercise program from the American Vision Institute, which does seem to help.  I had a little try a couple of years ago and found my vision improved, but I never stuck with it.

I’m at the opticians for an eye test next week, so I’m determined to do all the exercises daily and see if it makes a difference.  So far so good, I’ve done it for two days and already things seem slightly less blurry.  I’m not ready to ditch the glasses just yet, but on Tuesday I couldn’t see the keyboard without my glasses, today I can.  I can also just about make out the computer screen, so I’m nicely on track

I want to start on an exercise program too, I’ve had the CFS for over 11 years now, but I’ve never felt quite as sickly and unhealthy as I have the past few months.

I know bad joints and no energy is a valid excuse, but I’ve just never been much of an exercise fanatic at the best of times.  I’ve always been on the go before, so I’ve never really needed to “keep-fit”, but I just can’t really be bothered with all that grunting, panting and sweating which seems to go hand-in-hand with exercise.

Still I’m keeping that as the next big “to-do” on my list.  The more gentle things like Pilates, Yoga and the likes appeal to me, so I’ve just got to set up my pilates machine and get into the habit of using it.

It’s strange, I do so little, yet never seem to have any spare time because I have no schedule of any kind, yet people who work full time and have children still seem to manage to get so many other things done, it’s quite shameful really.

I gave in and cut my hair yesterday too, I figured since my scalp is still flaking there’s no point in waiting to see if it’s cleared up by next week to get a haircut, so I just did it myself with the clippers again.  It looks OK, if a bit short, but it saved me £20, sit it’s not all bad

And tomorrow I need to get caught up on all my journal reading, I’ve been getting behind on everyone’s blogs lately too.

At least this new twitter thing is helping me keep track of the little things that are worth mentioning.

Yep that’s right, it’s time for another barrage of weeping, wailing, begging and sob stories, collectively known as the X-Factor, Britain’s equivalent of American Idol for those that don’t know.

For anyone who doesn’t know, the X-Factor has 4 judges and 4 categories, over 25′s groups, under 25 boys and and under 25 girls.  After they narrow it down at boot camp, each judge gets a category to mentor.

They’re currently showing the final episode before the live shows were we get to see who gets through, and I’ve just figured out what’s missing.

They need a fifth judge

Every year I sit and watch the show… Well I say watch loosely, I have never been able to sit and watch it, I record it then I can watch the whole thing at high speed without having to listen to the sob stories, stupid judge comments and, during the auditions, all the idiots who shouldn’t even be given air time as all they’re after is getting their faces on the television…

But I digress…

They need a fifth judge, a plain, ordinary member of the public, to give a voice to the viewing (and buying) public.  Then they could take a wild card category, where they select some acts that the other judges turned down.

If nothing else, it would be fascinating to see what happens when someone mentors them without any agenda.  It always amazes me some of the song and clothing choices that the mentors make, and invariably many of the contestants are criticized for the song or their wardrobe, both of which they don’t appear to have any choice in.

Oh well, I think it’s a good idea, but unless it’s going to generate extra revenue from the telephone voting I doubt it’ll ever go further than being just a good idea.

Hmm… Am I too young for this level of cinicism?  I never can tell

The bad news, it’s not doing anything to make me less irritable.

And the ugly news… Daddy’s in getting a nose job!

OK, so it’s not a nose job as such, apparently the bone and cartilage in the nose doesn’t always grow straight, for a few years now (and by few we’re talking more than ten) he’s always complaining that he’s got a cold, and spends every waking moment sniffing.

Now personally I put most of that down to habit, and I still maintain he just needs to be bashed in the face a couple of times with a frying pan and he’ll soon manage to stop sniffing, not to mention spending ten years complaining how “I’m just getting a cold” deserves a damn good slap anyway…

Have I mentioned I’m a tad irritable this week?

Anyway, he finally found it irritated him enough (or us nagging him irritated him enough) that he went to see the doctor.

Long story short, he went into hospital this morning to have some of the bone/cartilage removed from his nose to straighten it back up and stop it restricting the nasal passage.

He’s due back home tomorrow morning, and then we have to put up with him for two to three weeks before he’s allowed to go back to work.

Since he’s almost never even ill (and just as well) and has never had to have anything done to him, he’s an appalling patient…

He’s survived the operation, but if there’s too much whining and whimpering he may not survive the convalescence time!

You’ll have to forgive me, the herbs I’ve got are certainly working, but I’m still in the “it’ll get much worse before it gets better” phase of the treatment, so between the additional pain, burning, itching, flaking and running to put cream all over my face and neck at far too regular intervals… Well it’s safe to say I have no patience, I’m cranky, irritable and in the mood to rip the heads of small children and set fire to new-born babies.

Oh and to top it off, I got the weirdest comment left on an earlier journal entry a couple of days ago…

Your not even from the North East you prick. Are you that sad you stalk people?

Needless to say I’m a little confused and have no clue who it came from.

Oh I nearly forgot, it seems I have two slight problems with this rash on my face, firstly it seems that it’s no longer just the virus/infection, but the reason it’s so bad is due to the allergic reaction to the antibiotics, so the Doctor said, which seems to be why it stopped responding to all the treatments I was trying.

The other problem being that I’m allergic to tap water.  I have been for years, every time I get water on my face, neck or chest I come out in a mild rash for a few hours.  But it seems the antibitocs have thrown my immune system further out and increased my reaction to said water, which is also probably why the rash gets worse by the day, since I mostly shower daily.

*sigh* Nothing is ever easy is it?

I’ve ordered myself a whole house water filter, which arrived this morning, now I just have to wait for the plumber to call to give us a quote and book a time to install the thing… Then with a bit of luck I’ll have reaction free encounters with all forms of water throughout the house…

That’ll be a nice change

Final thought, I’ve got a little dohicky over there on the right for a free download of unsigned MySpace artist Ryan Huston‘s album, which you might like to take a look at and have a listen to.

Lets see… What’s been going on…

Well, I still have the neck of a lizard, only now I seem to be part lobster, part lizard and part panda, as you can see from the photos below…

Oh and I also have the bowel of a pregnant woman…

So a quick recap would make sense I guess…

A strange rash appeared on my neck some months ago, then it started to appear in more places around my neck.

The doctor thought it was an infection and gave me antibiotics, which I was reluctant to take, since I have had reactions to every tablet I’ve had since developing the Chronic Fatigue.

A few days later I started them, but only because the rash started to appear around my eyes.  They didn’t work, so he put me on a different one, which I foolishly agreed to take.

Two tablets later I’ve got a rash all over my upper body, a swollen tongue and so much diarrhoea that I’m running to the bathroom every 20 minutes for the next three days, and every two hours for the next three nights.

After that, I settled down to a pattern of diarrhoea every two hours during the day and every 4 during the night for the next two and a half weeks.  After that it was like having the bowel of a pregnant woman.

A charming subject I know, but the volume of matter coming out of me seemed to far exceed the volume of matter I was consuming, so how I’m not down to that fabled size zero, I’ll never know!

So, we’re now about 6 weeks after the antibiotic incident, my stomach is pretty much back to normal, if you can ignore the churning and gurgling it’s doing most of the time.

My skin on the other hand, well that’s another matter entirely.

Before the antibiotics it was just small clusters of wound red patches in three places on my neck, a small patch on each cheek bone and a couple of tiny patches around each eye…

After the antibiotics it just went on the rampage, and now look at it…

Oh, ignore the terrible hair, I’d just come out of the shower when I took these…

As you can see, all in all, it looks quite a mess.  Nothing is shifting it, nobody really seems to know what it even is.

The doctors think it’s a Staph’s infection, various people think it’s psoriasis or eczema, and given the way it flared up after the antibiotics wiped out my immune system, I tend to think the same as I did in the first place, that it’s a particularly nasty virus.

All I know for sure is, it’s still spreading, at this rate I’m going to have no face left, and certain parts of it are itching like crazy, while other parts are fine.  It flakes wildly overnight when I can’t put cream on it, so I wake up with a pile of scales in the bed with me, and I’m going through a tub of moisturiser a week trying to stop it drying out and splitting.

So… Who wants to pay to have me put down and put out of my misery?

All donations happily accepted

Somebody…

Anybody…

Please, just… TALK ME OUT OF IT!!!!

Am I too young to be thinking about incontinence pads?

I got the antibiotics about a week and a half ago.

Those were fine…

They didn’t do squat, but I didn’t have any adverse reactions to them either.

Yay me!

But them by the beginning of last week the red patches were starting to appear around my eyes, which is never a good thing, and by day 3 of the antibiotics they were still appearing.

With the true efficiency that can only be found in the NHS cut-backs system, it was going to be close to two weeks before I could get another doctors appointment.

Given that I’m kind of partial to my eyes, I decided I wasn’t willing to wait, so I managed to get an appointment at the main clinic a couple of towns over.

All seems simple enough…

That alone should have warned me!

I got another set of antibiotics as the first lot clearly weren’t working, and a cream to put on.

So after fainting and then calling the bank manager to re-mortgage the neighbours house to pay for the prescriptions… Off I went.

Got home, took the first two tablets and thought nothing more about it.

Two hours later I was definitely thinking about it!

It started with a gurgle in the lower organs. Again not much to worry about, I was still a bit peckish, so I didn’t give it much thought.

Half an hour later I did though.

I felt like one of those newfangled dolls.

You know the kind, you give it the little battery powered bottle, then five minutes later it starts shooting out both ends…

Which begs the question why anybody would want something like that… But I digress…

So there I was 9 O’clock at night giving birth to my intestines every 20 minutes for a little over 5 hours.

By 2:30 in the morning it finally eased up enough to get to sleep, of course by then I had a rash over my chest and arms and my tongue was swelling up.

Then every two hours I was up running to the bathroom.

The next day the rash had gone and tongue was back to normal proportions, but little digestive system had gone on strike…

The entire morning was spent in the bathroom, I’d barely get out the door and I’d have to turn back round and fling myself back at the potty and hope I’d make it in time…

Needless to say by lunch time I could barely sit down and was so tender I was walking like John Wayne.

It’s now just over a week later and I’m still running back for a potty break every couple of hours, but at least the stomach acids are staying where they should be so I’m not actually having my rear end digested while I sit.

Needless to say I’m not planning on any more trips back to the doctors any time soon.

And next time I’m given a prescription, I think I’ll go with my gut (no pun intended) and not get it filled out.

Oh and I just found out yesterday I’m back at the hospital in a couple of weeks to be strapped back on the tilt and turn table and flung around the room in the name of science.

I wonder how my stomach will take that one…

Things could get messy…

And as anyone who knows me will testify, that is not like me at all… The last time I had the urge to swear (which I gave in to in the end) was around 1987…

So it’s safe to say, I’m not a happy fraggle!

I went to the doctors earlier in the week to find out about this rash on my neck.

It appears it’s a Staphs infection. It would appear the skin is infected with the Staphylococcus bacteria. Whether it’s the same version of the bacteria as the hospital superbug, MRSA remains to be seen.

Naturally I’m not very happy, I thought you had to go to hospital to get a Staphs infection, and I hadn’t been anywhere near a hospital for well over a year when the rash started.

I did a bit of research online and found that it’s immune to most antibiotics, and if it’s the MRSA version of the bacteria, then it’s immune to all antibiotics. I also found that the most effective thing for killing it off is good, old-fashioned Tea-Tree oil.

Something to do with enzymes and protein strands, but whatever the science, the bacteria can’t build up an immunity to the oil, making it deadly to them.

All well and good.

I’ve spent the last 4 days slathering my face with tea-tree ointment and tea-tree mixed face creams, and it all seemed to be going well.

Except when I woke up this morning I have another three patches on my neck, 4 on the sides of my face, one on my eyelid and one on the bridge of my nose.

Which suggests that it’s not a Staphs infection at all.

Which also means I now have to take the antibiotics the doctor prescribed before I can go back and get him to have another look.

Only I don’t like taking antibiotics at the best of times, and I’ve managed to avoid them for the past 15 or so years.

I also have reacted badly to every tablet prescribed by the doctor since developing the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome…

Hence my intense urge to swear profusely.

And don’t even get me started on the cost of prescriptions these days… Because I’m on Sickness Benefit and not Jobseeker’s Benefit I have to pay for prescriptions (another thing I’ve managed to avoid for the better part of 10 years).

It turns out the cost of prescriptions have gone up again… It’s now £7.10 (about $14) per item.

What the hell? Do they think I’m made of money?

Do they really think that people can afford that on benefit?

And more importantly do they think we’re too dumb to notice that it’s the people who can’t work due to health problems (which you would expect would require more medications than a healthy person) they’re the ones who don’t get free prescriptions…

*insert volley of offensive swear words, expletives and colourful phrases I didn’t even know I knew here*

Well, technically that should be my eyebrows, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

It’s been kind of a rough week, which partly explains the lack of entries (it’s also down to nothing interesting to write about too…)

There’s been good news, bad news (nothing bad, just news of the non-good kind, rather than “bad news” as such)

Of course, as is usually the case in these instances, even the good things have a slap in the face following close behind, just to keep my feet on the ground (or 6 feet under at least!)

So… Last Wednesday was the first thing of note…

Wednesday was good news, albeit a bit of a shock.

I got up, checked my on-line banking and found I had nearly £1000 more in my account than I did the day before. Now random large deposits are surprising at the best of times, but as I have never had more than about £400 in my account at any one time, it was even more of a shock.

As it turns out the paperwork arrived a couple of hours later to tell me I’d been awarded Disability.

Yes, it’s true, I’m finally classed as disabled *does NakedFraggle pole dance to celebrate* It’s only taken 7 years for them to figure it out!

Now admittedly, it’s probably a bit strange that I’m so happy to be disabled (I’d like to point out here and now it’ has nothing to do with the money, they could have kept the money for all I care!). But after all this time, it’s just the principle of the thing.

My doctor told me all those years ago that I should be claiming disability because of my health condition, and since then every 18 months or so I start the cycle again, apply, have a medical, get rejected, go to appeal, get rejected because they prefer their doctors medical evidence over the battery of evidence all my doctors and specialist provide, wait 6 months for leave to reapply, and repeat.

So that was good news anyway.

Naturally the slap followed, in that I’ve got some new stuff to take that’s really boosted my energy levels the past week, so of course because I wasn’t trapped in bed like some kind of mummified corpse, I then feel guilty that I’m just not ill enough to be entitled to it… Yadda, yadda, yadda… I just can’t win. The fact that I’ve had treatments that have helped before, then kind of give up a couple of weeks later leaving me back where I was still doesn’t help me feel any less guilty about it all.

So… Couple of days to recover from my news (who knew breaking out into spontaneous bouts of school-girl giggling could be so tiring?)

So now we come to Monday.

Given that I’d had a little more energy, I decided to get a haircut since I hadn’t been able to manage to get since my last one back in November. And if I was heading that way, I figured a trip to the opticians too, as I needed to confirm the prescription to re-order my contact lenses.

The haircut went fine, until she started combing my eyebrow

Before I realised what she was doing, she cut them

Well she cut one, so I didn’t have any choice but let her cut the other one so they at least matched.

She said the blond was showing through, so she trimmed them to make it less obvious. I’m hoping she’ll not make a habit of that, I’d like to keep my eyebrows, thank you very much, strange blond streaks and all…

On a side note, I’ve had blond streaks in them since an unfortunate hair bleaching incident about 16 years ago (is it really that long ), I used something called Sun-In to lighten my hair, a good idea I thought at the time, except my hair went straw-yellow and just wouldn’t grow out for the better part of 6 months. Anyway, during the application, some trickled onto my eyebrows, and I didn’t notice. ever since then I’ve had parts of my eyebrows that same straw-yellow colour, and even if they come out, they grow back in the same colour.

But I digress…

Back to Monday.

Hair (and brows *pouts*) cut, off to sort my eyes.

Another saga.

The girl looks at my eyes, checks the prescription, sets her machine up to look in the back of the eye… No power. Totally dead.

We go to another room, she tries to set the machine up, but it’s stuck and won’t swing out from the wall.

So she’s clambering over the machine to pear in the eyepiece upside-down against the wall, I’m on a chair that’s too low, so end up crouching in front of the machine so she can try and see into my eye.

Then I get home and order the new contact lenses, only to find that she’s written the wrong fitting measurements on the form.

Finally get the lenses ordered, and they turned up yesterday… They’d been discontinued, so the store had given me a “free upgrade” to the newer model.

Not good.

I have sensitive eyes, and finding lenses where I don’t have a reaction to either the material or the liquid they’re stored in is a nightmare. Naturally, the new lenses practically burnt my eyes out and I couldn’t see a thing.

So I’m now blind and screwed, not to mention the check-up at the opticians cost £35, and I’m going to have to try and go back again to figure out what on earth I’m going to wear now

Oh joy!

In the meantime, I used some of my disability money to buy one of those Roomba, robotic vacuums to make life easier with the housework.

It came, I saw, I spent twice as long trying to clean it than it would have taken me to vacuum the room in the first place… And then it was sent winging it’s way back for a refund.

I hate having to return new toys when they end up being such a disappointment. It looked cute, but I couldn’t justify that kind of money on something that just looked cute, and would whimper for help every time it got stuck in a corner…

Heck, I’ve got my father who does that and he didn’t cost me a penny

So… where are we up to…

Ahh yes, my new scanner arrived last week so I finally got around to setting it up yesterday. It works well, runs in Linux happily (unlike my old one) and has about 3 times the resolution of my previous scanner, plus a full size negative function, so I can scan all those old negatives and photo-plates we have from clearing my grandfathers house a few years ago.

Except with having that bit more energy and all these things I’ve been trying to catch up on, I’m now feeling like a dug-up corpse and don’t plan on even attempting to move from the keyboard for at least a few days

Oh and in amongst all that eBay had an offer on free listings, so I sold a load of stuff, got a fraction of what it was worth, since most of it was brand new and never used.

It’s nice to get rid of the junk, and items that I’ve bought and just weren’t suitable for the task I wanted them for, but I’m never sure it’s entirely worth the hassle, I get a pittance for them, given the quality and condition I keep them in… I was inundated with people wanting to know the postage to this or that country, would I end an auction early, could they make me an offer I’d cheerfully refuse…

Add to all that, no matter how many times I write on a listing that I will accept PayPal, but as a personal user the money has to be in the account, if they try to pay using a credit or debit card it will be rejected… Still I get half a dozen morons who insist on trying it anyway, and then complain that it was automatically rejected, like I didn’t warn them in the first place! I always have it mentioned about 3 times on each item, just to be sure. Yet still they ignore it…

Now I have to keep waiting for cheques to arrive, get them paid into the bank, wait till they clear and deal with irate bidders who seem to think I should send the goods out as soon as the cheque comes through the door just so they don’t have to wait for the cheque to clear. Either that or there’s the ones who seem to think the cheque is cleared the second you leave the bank, and that there’s no reason to wait the full 5 days to make sure it doesn’t bounce and the cash be removed from the bank account again.

*sigh* I have this hassle every time I use eBay as a seller. One of these days I’ll work out that it’s just not worth the effort and send the stuff to charity instead, at least they might get paid what the things are actually worth!

Well I think that brings all the important events back up-to-date, and I’m now all whined out

Time for a nap me thinks…

We’ve been told for years that we’re now living in a throw-away society, yet at the same time we’re told to cut down on packaging, cut down on purchases, recycle more…

How?

You buy an expensive piece of equipment, it breaks 2 days after the warranty runs out, but you can’t get it replaced because (according to the manufacturer) it isn’t cost effective, it would cost more to repair than it does to buy a new one.

Although you have to love how they don’t give you the option of repair to judge the cost for yourself.

And then we have food and services, doesn’t anyone take pride in their work any more?

When I used to work at the restaurant a few years ago, they were fairly expensive if you went in for a meal, although apparently they’re no more expensive than anywhere else in the city centre.

Yet the difference in the quality of the food was incredible.

Most places buy the cheapest ingredients possible, simply to maximise their profit margins. Yet the place I worked at bought nothing but the best ingredients they could find, and when you ate anything there, you sure could tell!

I don’t really drink anything other than plain water, but I do have a weakness for hot chocolate.

The place I worked at used to make them the old fashioned way…

Thick, frothy…

I’m talking made with full milk, enough chocolate powder to make it so think you could almost stand a spoon up in it. Then topped with thick double cream, and a handful of marshmallows… *drools*

Hardly anywhere seems to do them that way any more.

I was at a cafe last week (yes it’s true, I actually left the house!) that always used to do really nice hot chocolates.

But now they’ve gone the way of everyone else…

Everyone wants to maximise their profits, which is fair enough, it’s a business after all, but they don’t seem to have any interest in the quality of their stuff. No interest in whether their product is good enough to have people coming back for repeat business, just so long as it’s cheap…

And by cheap I mean cheap to make, not cheap to buy.

I had a hot chocolate at this cafe on Friday, it was made with water instead of milk, so was very thin and far too hot, had hardly any chocolate powder so was pretty tasteless, and was topped with squirty cream.

I should mention here that I would like to find the person who invented squirty cream, tie them down and squirt cream down their throats until they implode… Ok so I guess technically it would be explode…

I loath that stuff with a passion, I’m convinced that the nearest it’s come to a cow is if it happened to pass one on the road on the way to the store.

It tastes nothing like cream, or any other dairy product, is full of sugar and turns to water the second it comes into contact with anything warm.

I bought this hot chocolate, which was described as “Luxury thick, creamy hot chocolate” and even went for the slightly more expensive version that was served “with cream”.

Hell they can’t even get the descriptions right, because the description given was the furthest thing from the runny, tasteless slop they served me with!

But then we have cakes too, you buy a cake of any kind and they’re so artificial they all taste pretty much the same…

And don’t even get me started on the use of those “cake topping” rubbish…

I find it quite frightening this trend to go for cheaper and cheaper materials and ingredients in all products, especially since it doesn’t mean they reduce their prices any!

I find it equally frightening in this day and age that there is a whole generation brought up on this artificial junk who don’t know what real food actually tastes like. They don’t even know what a real cake or desert tastes like, just this bland pre-packaged rubbish you buy in the shops.

Blah… I need to go stab someone now…

Time to go rushing out to show your significant other how much you love them by showering them with chocolates, flowers and sexy lingerie.

Because after all, nothing says I love you like saturated fats, dead vegetation and slutty underwear.

I’ve now come to the conclusion I just don’t do any of our modern “celebrations”.

They’re all too commercial, the sentiment is lost, and they’re just forced now.

Take today for example (take it, please!)

We’re told we have to do something special or our loved one will think we don’t love them.

Then shops the world over put up the prices of their flowers and chocolates. Not to mention the fact that greetings cards now cost an arm and a leg on their own.

Then you’re supposed to take your significant other out somewhere, so naturally every restaurant and food place is redesigned for couples (nobody else appears to be allowed out in public on February 14th). And again, they put their prices up just for the day, since everyone is so lovestruck they’ll never notice.

And I wonder why there’s more and more days of the year I just want to crawl into a hole and pretend I’m not associated with the human race!

Well I say old, I’m either getting old, or I’m just so sad and generally dull little fraggle.

Either way you look at it, neither of these options are particularly good things.

I think the problem isn’t so much I’m getting old as everyone else seems to be getting young, at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

I’m not sure when it started, but I’ve noticed I keep going back to “the good old days” and “when I was little”.

I know the CFS does make me live the life of a geriatric, but I just don’t get the youth of today.

The idea of going to a concert fills me with dread, they’re just too loud and noisy, you can’t hear the music for all that screaming and you leave with a splitting headache and industrial deafness!

I’ve also noticed that they police and doctors are getting younger, which is never a good sign, and to top it off, today I got a letter telling me that I’m getting an age addition on my sickness benefit

I feel so old!

Strange thing is, somebody was telling me the other day that they always feel old when they find a grey hair, or see how people they went to school with have aged.

The grey hair… Well I don’t have grey , although I am getting some silver popping in here and there.

I comfort myself with the fact that it’s probably down to my health and poor diet, plus the fact that they’re really just colourless, but look silver in the light because my hair is so shiny…

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

I think the one thing that makes me feel old is seeing people younger than me who look older.

I know that doesn’t make a great deal of sense.

I also know it’s probably all in my own head, and I’m sure I don’t look as young as I used to, although in my head, when I look in the mirror, I still do .

But when I see people in their early 20′s who don’t necessarily look old, but they look like adults… That makes me feel incredibly old, because when I look in the mirror, I still see a young kid staring back at me.

Meh, it sucks to be old and trapped in the body of a 19-year-old