Go figure, yesterday I missed a doctors appointment because it took 8 hours before I was able to get out of bed… Today I’ve steam cleaned half the house (well the front room anyway).

Where’s the balance? Where’s the reason?

I’ve given up trying to figure out the whole chronic fatigue thing, there’s no reasoning to it, so I’ve just given up.

So I was playing working hard to steam clean the carpet… Yes maybe not the best idea, as I haven’t had any feeling above my toenails in about 5 hours…

Still it was a good workout, I found muscle groups I didn’t even know existed, especially the chest muscles for some reason… No clue why…

But the amount of work they got today, I should wake up tomorrow with a chest like Pamela Anderson!
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Before anyone asks, yes I’m floundering for journal entry titles of late.

It just occurred to me yesterday, I never did post my new logo for my photography/website business I eventually hope to start up.

I had the original concept, but it was the wonderfully talented people at http://thelogocompany.net/ that did the hard work of translating my ideas into a working logo and fine tuning it to the impressive state it’s at now.

If you’re reading this in swydm.com, you’ll have to follow the link back to my journal as the swydm blog system is stripping out most html coding again, so I can’t link images, or even my comments form, I can only link to the main entry page, so you’ll have to find your own way from there :-p
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Ho-hum, three days of scanning and I’m too dead to care.

At least I should get the feeling back in my arms and neck in a week or so.

On top of that I finally got all the journal software updates tweaked into submission and got my gallery software installed, setup and working.

A very very long weekend, but a nice change to have something to show for it…

Now I just have to start uploading pictures into said gallery… But that’ll have to wait till I have feeling back in my fingers

Shamelessly snaffled from somewhere on myspace, but it was too funny not to pinch

Dear Diary:

For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college football team 20yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 yr. old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swimwear.

My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The Club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:

Started my day at 6:00am.

Tough to get out of bed, but it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She was something of a Greek goddess—with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile.

Woo Hoo!!!!!

She took my pulse after 5 minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attributed it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobics outfit. I enjoyed watching the skilful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today.

Very inspiring, Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around.

This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

TUESDAY:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. .Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air, and then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile.

I feel GREAT!! It’s a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by lying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered the other club members.

Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whines that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurts when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help Me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other stuff too.

THURSDAY:

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to workout with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men’s room. She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine—which I sank.

FRIDAY:

I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anaemic little cheerleading bitch. If there were a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don’t have any triceps! And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the*&%##&** barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY:

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY:

I’m having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can Go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year, My wife (the other bitch), will choose a gift for me that is fun –like a root canal or a vasectomy.

That’s my journal updated, it’s only taken 4 days but I finally gave up, deleted the lot and installed from scratch instead of trying to update the thing. Of course then I had to fiddle on fixing all the templates. But the good news was it gave me a good excuse to trawl the plugin lists and update what I had and add a few more to my collection.

I’m currently trying a new comment approval system, before I had to input email addresses of trusted commenters into a master list via my servers database software. This new one (if it works) will let me just click a button. It will then cross reference name, email address, website and ip address details to verify the person is who they say they are when leaving a comment.
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Was it pick on Mark day and nobody told me?

First off I went out, yes that’s right folks, I actually left the house and not a hospital appointment in sight.

First stop, opticians for an eye test… Should be straightforward…

It was until the girl decided to use me as her target to practice her duck shooting skills.

Sit there, hold still, don’t move… Now I’m just going to shoot you in the eye with a jet of compressed air…

Ummm… And you expect me not to move?
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Is it wrong…

Actually you don’t really need to answer that, I already know it’s wrong, but still…

There’s something so satisfying about seeing someone you haven’t seen for years and finding they’re not aging well.

Admittedly that only works when you’re aging better than they are, but hey, you got to work with what you’ve got
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So I’ve been accused of making excuses to buy a new vacuum…

Well… Ummm….

I’m not, short of growing an extra two arms to hold all the bits together, I can’t use it.

That’s not to say I don’t have a thing for vacuums, because I do…

Ok, yes, yes, I might even go so far as to say I have a vacuum fetish.
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Dear diary…

Today I broke the vacuum, got a virus… Oh the excitement…

The vacuum was only 3 years old, I pushed on the handle to get past and the whole thing fell apart. Figures, it was a good little machine too, but the latch is now broken so the tube keeps dropping off the handle and you’re left hopping as it falls on your foot and sucking empty air instead of cleaning the carpets.

Naturally the handle is a sealed unit, so no way of opening it to fix it with superglue, and it doesn’t count as a spare part, so you can’t buy a replacement.

And whilst duct tape is the answer to everything, you have to disconnect the handle every time you need to empty it (about every 10 minutes) so, “sod that for a game of soldiers” seems appropriate…
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Myspace… Can somebody explain it to me, because that place goes right over my head.

I’ve been a member there for a good year now, and I still don’t get it.

For one thing some days it seems like there’s nobody but fakes on it, between the dozens of people with the same photos, then the role players (don’t even get me started on the pointlessness of role players on photo rating and community sites)… Then there’s the celebrities…

I know some celebrities have profiles on myspace, I’m finding it particularly good for finding new bands and singers, but come ON…

During an hour of wandering yesterday I found 6 Harry Potter’s (the character, not the actor) 5 Jessica Alba’s several dozen sites for various members of the cast of The OC, One Tree Hill and Smallville. And I lost track of the number of Angelina Jolie’s, Brad Pitt’s and Jensen Ackles’ I saw in my travels.
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