There are things I should say, but the words won’t come.

I know this is cryptic and won’t make much sense to anyone but me, but I’ve been thinking about this since a conversation I had with someone a couple of days ago.

There’s something I should be dealing with; I should be facing it… But I can’t bring myself to do it… It’s one of the few things that makes me feel completely out of control, and that scares me more than I usually like to admit.

Now I can find the words… But I don’t know if I have the strength to face it… I know I should face my demons, and that I’ll be stronger for doing it… But I don’t know if I have the strength or the desire to go through it…

I guess time will tell.

I will normally write about anything in this journal. I prefer it when the words flow without me having to think about them, it feels natural. Yet here I am, for the first time fighting the flow, trying to hold back the words, censor myself, keep myself away from what I think I need to write…

It feels so un-natural… Yet in a twisted way, it still feels like the right thing to do…

I don’t know… I don’t want to start something I can’t stop, especially when I’m not sure I even want to go down this path… But a little voice inside me keeps telling me that want it or not, eventually I will need to face this…