This Christmas I’m going to start killing people if I hear one more Christmas song, and it’s still only November!

I had to go out to town again last week, and I’m not going back until well after the January sales!

In fact, I have decided that in future, I am just going to go into hibernation from the second week of November, and not surface again until the end of January.

I’m so pleased I don’t celebrate Christmas any more, because it’s getting ridiculous now! The cost, the greed, the debt. It’s pathetic!

I got the mid morning bus on Thursday, and you couldn’t move for pensioners and young women and their screaming brats.

Now as most people know, I am not a fan of children, but I am even less of a fan at this time of year. Probably because there are even more of them out in public throwing tantrums left, right and centre because they just “Wanna!”

I had been on the bus less than two minutes when I heard the first chorus of screaming and wailing because one child or another wanted something, or wanted to do something.

What really annoys me is that the parent just sits there and ignores them whilst they scream their lungs out disturbing the entire bus.

After a further couple of minutes I was sat their daydreaming about getting up, walking over, beating the mother then grabbing the child by the throat and snapping it’s greedy, whiney little neck. The worst part was the warm fuzzy feeling that accompanied that daydream.

But don’t worry, I showed plenty of self disipline, turned my discman up a bit and just sat there and glowered at them.

Now I should have known there and then, got off the bus and gone straight back home, but I didn’t.

When I got to town, it was packed.

Now, remember, this was last week, so plenty of time until the Christmas rush, right?

Wrong!

I saw people snatching things out of other people?s hands, because it was the last one out on the shelf that second.

I saw a little old lady being pushed into a display rack by a woman who wanted to get past her so she could get in the queue for a book signing.

I saw people being pushed, shoved and kicked because they were in the way.

I saw young women with pushchairs using them like battering rams to knock people out of their way. (I was hit by two of them)

I saw people pushing into queues because they didn’t want to have to wait any longer.

And this is supposed to be the season of love and goodwill?

More like selfishness, me-ism and total greed!

I managed to get the few bits I needed and get out.

I have already lost all faith in my fellow man, but at least I don’t have to look at it again until next year!

Oh and the music!

If I hear “So here it is Merry Christmas” one more time, I will NOT be responsible for my actions!

*brandishes sword and bazooka*

Why does everywhere insist on playing, not only nothing but Christmas songs, but nothing but the same two or three Christmas songs, everywhere you go.

It’s no wonder all the shoppers and staff are driven mad this time of year.

It’s the music!

*goes to build a nest*

Well, I’m going to go and nest now, and I’m not leaving until late January!