I had a rough night again last night.

I was getting my lunch yesterday and suddenly thought “I’ve got a PM” I left my lunch (how sad am I?) put the computer on, dialled into the Internet, and guess what, I was right. I did have a message.

I woke up this morning and was sure I had a couple of messages. When I finally got online, I had one. But I then found I had one on Journalspace. So I was right again.

That scares me.

I have four rules when it comes to posting anything public on the Internet: No porn, no religion, no politics and nothing explicit.

When it comes to personal communication (anything one to one) I have two rules: No porn and nothing explicit. After that anything goes.

Well I’m going to half break one of those rules.

Am I religious? Yes, very much so. But I’m no screaming zealot *hides zealot kit in closet for later*

I just don’t feel that public forums/postings are the place to be discussing religion; it’s too personal, too intimate to be used so broadly. As for politics, you wouldn’t believe how disinterested I am in politics.

Anyway, to the point. Do I believe in spirits and ghosts, yes, but not in the traditional sense of the terms.

Do I believe in psychic ability, yes, but again not in the traditional sense. I am a firm believer that we are capable of registering a lot more than we currently do. I am very aware of my environment, I know when someone is behind me, without looking, I know when I am being watched or followed. Don’t know how, I just know. I don’t believe in foretelling the future however, no one can know the future, because until it happens anything is possible, and once it happens it’s not the future any more.

Ok, the rules are back in operation now. This was just to explain my thoughts on this side of things.

So I was right about the PM’s (twice)

I went to college with a girl and we became friends. We kept in touch after college, although she never stayed in one place long. Eventually when I wrote to her, the letter was returned saying that she had moved and left no forwarding address. About a year and a half later I managed to find out from a friend of a friend of a friend that she had been ill and had cancer. That was about two years ago, and I have not heard anything since.

On Saturday night I woke up in the middle of the night having dreamed of being at her funeral.

I had the same dream last night.

I don’t like where this is heading.

And I don’t like not knowing.

I like it even less having been right about the PM’s, and having that same sense of surety.

I don’t like feeling this out of control.