I had a beefburger for dinner.

But was it?

If I ate it alone it’s a beefburger.

But I had it in a bun, so it turned into a hamburger.

If I’d had any cheese it would have been a double cheeseburger.

Why?

The main ingredient is still beef, so it’s still a beefburger.

A hamburger is beef and bread.

Where’d the ham come from?

Help!

And why is it that when you’re running late everything goes wrong and takes longer than usual. For example:

You wake up five minutes late. No big deal, it’s easy enough to catch up 5 minutes.
You get downstairs and make your breakfast or tea or coffee, only the bowl/cup breaks and you have your breakfast all over the kitchen.

You’re left with cleaning the entire kitchen to mop up the mess. Then you either do without breakfast ort have to make it again.
Then you head for the shower.
Because you are now really late, today is the day when you realise that there isn’t enough shampoo so you have to rummage around for the new bottle you bought last week which of course has now managed to slot itself in the very back of the bathroom cupboard. Just far enough back that you have to empty everything else to reach it.
So you take your shower, but of course there’s no water pressure, so it takes longer to rinse all the soap and shampoo off.
Then when you get out of the shower you find the batteries have died in your electric toothbrush, the dog has just thrown up all over the carpet…
The kids are playing in it…
After cleaning carpet, dog and kids, then the other two rooms in the house so at least all the spring-cleaning is done, you then do your hair. Of course because you’ve just cleaned the house, the gel has dried and you have a nice new hairdo just waiting for the local colony of sparrows to take up residence. This would obviously be followed by doing your makeup (or redoing your hair if you’re a guy)
You dump the kids with your neighbour for the school run, and you go to work. Only the car takes 5 minutes to start, the traffic is so slow people on zimmer frames are overtaking you.
You crawl into work two and a half hours late, sick of your life and feeling like you’ve just but in three shifts of work already. So of course that’s the day the boss happens to be stood next to your desk when you storm into the building looking like you’ve slept in your clothes for 2 days then been dragged through a hedge backwards. “Is everything ok?” he asks, (or better yet ?what time do you call this?) and then follows it with “You don’t look like your normally presented self. I like you new hairstyle though.” At which point you punch him in the face throw the contents of your desk into a box for personal and the bin for work related items and walk out. Go home and go back to bed hoping that tomorrow will be better.
So it just goes to prove my point that sleeping in by even 5 minutes really can destroy your life!

Strange day, this all came to mind because there are at least 3 people at work who have been told if they are late once more they will be sacked. (I think they have been late on two occasions, all independant of each other.) I know it’s important to be on time, but being 5 minutes late on two occasions comes accross as a bit excessive in terms of a sacking offence.